Sunday, February 28, 2010


The song is on repeat, and so are these thoughts. Spinning round like a choice vinyl record, needle catching the grooves and expressing sweet melodies of misery. Each time it starts again, I relive the confusion and pain. No one has the right answers or sweet words to soothe the inner beast, congested thoughts fighting for my attention. Which way do I turn, which way do I look, is there a brighter side. "I, I think I am going to cry, I, I don't want you to see me cry......" These words linger around like adolescent children outside a gas station in rural anywhere, America. I am not sure that this is something I can change. I can think on these things as long as I'd like but what is the outcome, the needles tore through and the damage done, blood rises to the skin, and I bloodlet. There is no relief this way, there is no relief from my mind, anger, confusion, fear, hurt, most of all hurt. Maybe its me, maybe I am not so sure what really happens in these type of situations, maybe I overreact, maybe I am wrong. Maybe I have no idea. I can listen to records all day and they all say the same thing, love is lost and love is gained and no one wants to turn their back on love, but what happens to those who hurt? What happens to those who cannot be strong? Are they doomed to a shaky foundation that slowly crumbles away at simple things like laughter, holding hands, and laying next to each other comfortably? Who can build a house on shifting sands? Too many questions and not enough answers or maybe just not any answers I want to hear.

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